May 2013
9 posts
Episode 34: Crash & Burn
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
RJ & Bley tackle some fan questions, reveal the times their parents caught them with porn, and Bley asks a co-worker to dinner with disasterous results. CRASH & BURN.
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For those of you who’ve asked if my boss knows about this podcast,...
Episode 33: Moms
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
In this special Mother’s Day episode, RJ & Bley call their moms to find out whether or not their dads were as bad at dating as they are.
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In this week’s horrendously embarrassing episode, I reveal to RJ the incredibly awkward “Sex...
“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back,...”
– C.S. Lewis (via stxxz)
1 tag
Episode 32: TOMBOY
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
RJ & Bley welcome Bley’s former crush Erni, who talks about growing up as a tomboy. Also, Bley makes an ass of himself. WHAT ELSE IS NEW?
Check out the holiday Erni co-created here: MEAT WEEK
Erni’s Official Site
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Get...
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The Four Most Important Farts Of My Life: #1
1995. Whitmore Lake, MI
“The Cool Thing To Do” when you’re a camp counselor and you’re on your day off with the other camp counselors is to go to the beach and go skinny dipping. The only problems are that it’s co-ed, and that I am a fat teenager with major body issues who doesn’t even like taking his baggy sweatshirt off because the tee shirt underneath...
WHEN YOU'RE ON A DATE AND REALIZE SHE'S NOT DOING...
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
This happened to me once. It was SUPER WEIRD AND TERRIBLE.
April 2013
13 posts
6 tags
Episode 31: God & Distance
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
RJ & Bley talk to the most religious person they know about the role God plays in his relationships, and Bley defends his theory that long distance relationships aren’t relationships.
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Well, I’m a dick. We all know it. Sorry.
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Pressure
Take a piece of string that’s four inches long, and using four toothpicks as stakes, make a square on the ground. Now imagine that the one inch square you’ve made is actually a one inch square column that stretches up, up, up, all the way to the edge of our atmosphere - from the end of the blue to the start of the black - to the beginning of space, where it stops. Now imagine you take...
Episode 30: The Token Lesbian
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
The boys welcome a girl who’s into girls. Chaos ensues.
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DJ HENNESSY YOUNGMAN →
mattbraunger:
This is maybe the funniest thing out there right now. Hennessy Youngman, hilarious hip-hop/performance/comedy artist put together this mixtape of “CVS Bangers.” That is, songs you hear while shopping at CVS. Complete with air horns, shotgun blasts, and dancehall yells of “Bon-Fiya!”
Made me yell-laugh in the car and pound the steering wheel. Jesus.
This is brilliant.
RJ & Bley #29: Murder Lake
RJ & Bley welcome their mysterious co-worker Kramer who talks about keeping your private life private, being a dude with long hair, and how sometimes it’s just easier to kill someone than break up with them. Wait, what?
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“Quite simply, I was in love with New York. I do not mean “love” in any...”
– Joan Didion (via troubled)
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9 tags
WatchI got to play basketball with Lakers great James Worthy (and get my ass kicked by a bunch of girls) on the show last night. Enjoy!
RJ & Bley #28: HANDSY
RJ & I welcome my self-confessed flirty friend Katie, who explains some simple rules on how to tell if a girl is flirting… Or just handsy (because she’s REALLLLLL HANDSY)
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March 2013
2 posts
Episode #27: Hitting The Horse
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
The boys tackle questions about rejection, cutting, and why men are so bad in bed.
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I recount the time where I saw someone punch a police horse in the face. SPOILER ALERT: The police horse was unfazed.
RJ & Bley #26: Nug Life
RJ takes his relationship to the next level as I take my love of McNuggets to the next level.
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February 2013
13 posts
RJ & Bley #25: Don't Trip
This week, RJ recounts one of the more horrific “horny grandparent” stories I’ve ever heard, I explain the best way to “cover your tracks” in the bathroom, and both of us try to talk our friend Katie out of taking a trip with her boyfriend.
Check out Katie Smith on Youtube!
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“1. Victims were older, usually over 60.
2. Victims were overweight.
3. Victims...”
– Are you at risk for spontaneous combustion? Check out these tell-tale signs from a physician in 1799. (via laphamsquarterly)
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I was a guest on the Nerdist podcast "The Mutant... →
10 year old Nerdist badass Gil had me on his AMAZING podcast, The Mutant Season a little while back. Seeing as I’m a ten year old kid myself, Gil and I got along swimmingly. Listen to us talk about fencing with heavy feet, Canadian Bacon, and playing Lazer Tag. IT WAS THE BEST YOU GUYS
Episode 24: We're Terrible People
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
Miss Match, Dave Geis, & Bley tell RJ about the Match.com “Stir Event” they attended, and how it changed their lives.
Follow Miss Match here!
Friend Dave Geis on Facebook - and check out his editing reel!
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Click here to suggest new lightning round questions!
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WatchHere’s me on Conan last night, trying my best to beat the lovely and talented Celeste Anderson at the Rubik’s Cube. ENJOY.
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Episode 23: Winner Winner
RJ & I welcome the winner of the fan contest to the studio, and try to figure out the proper way to handle a car crash on a date. Also RJ explains why he’s not allowed in Kentucky parks after dark, and I relate yet another tragic story of blowing it with a lady. Fun!
Make sure to click here to suggest new lightning round questions!
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MY REVIEW OF THE ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATED MOVIE,...
Okay, so at the end of Zero Dark Thirty after they kill Bin Laden and they bring his ass back and everyone is all happy and the dude from Mad Men is all like “we need you to confirm the body” and she looks at it and she’s all sad like “yeah, it’s him, but I’m feeling just kind of eh about the whole thing now even though this is my ENTIRE LIFE’S WORK...
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RJ & Bley #22: Putting Out
RJ & Bley answer more fan questions, including “does a girl have to put out on Valentine’s Day?”, “Is my sarcasm driving guys away?” and much more. Plus, the winner of the Fan Contest is announced!
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VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING UP, LADIES
rjandbleysuckatgirls:
Hope you enjoy CLASSY DINING. - Bley
January 2013
20 posts
9 tags
RJ & Bley #21: Sex Toys
Breeanna from PureRomance.com stops by to introduce RJ & I to the world of sex toys & Rj confronts his GREATEST FEAR. Plus, I relate the time I got caught with a vibrator at the airport. WHOOPS. MOM AND DAD DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS THANKS.
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LIST OF...
House of Lies has been picked up for a THIRD...
rejectedjokes:
House of Lies has been picked up for a third season!!! This is such fantastic news! Thank you to everyone at Showtime for your amazing support and every single of one of you that has been watching. I can’t wait for everyone to see what happens next in season 2!!! Our next new episode airs a week after the Super Bowl, February 9th at 10pm on Showtime and it...
mentalflossr:
The Greatest Dance Number Ever Filmed
Holy shit.
RJ & Bley #20: AGE
The lovely and talented Kate Freund uses her firsthand knowledge to help the boys figure out how much big age differences matter in relationships - and the big question on everyone’s mind is finally answered: Who has better eyebrows?
Follow Kate on Twitter @CakeKid, and watch her incredible web series “Legend Of The White Tiger” on Channel 101!
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WHEN YOU CALL THE NUMBER SHE GAVE YOU AND IT'S FOR...
(Actually happened to me, by the way.)
(via)
chamberlain asked: LOL! Women not knowing AC/DC, amirite? "Fucking children", every last one of them. Good luck with your podcast about women!
WHEN A GIRL TELLS ME SHE'S NEVER HEARD OF AC/DC
(via)
4 tags
Matt Braunger and Friends this Saturday at the... →
mattbraunger:
Hey gang!
I’m headlining the Hollywood Improv for two shows this Saturday night and put the rosters together myself. Been kicking around the idea of doing a couple road gigs with some friends and thought I’d try it out in my home city first. The line-ups of pure fire and gut busting amazingness are below. You have been warned!
8:00 Show
Host: Raj Desai
Jon Daly
Beth Stelling
...
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RJ & Bley #19: Boner Etiquette
RJ & Bley welcome a massage therapist, who explains how to handle an unexpected boner - and tries to help Bley over his fear of physical intimacy.
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“You’re wrong as the deuce/And you shouldn’t rejoice/
If you’re calling him...”
– Theodore Geisel’s college buddy Alexander Liang’s rhyme teaching you the right way to pronounce “Dr. Seuss”. (Apparently, “Zoice” was also acceptable)
(via Mental Floss)
