I THINK I NEED TO EAT MORE SALAD

Dinner: Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich

Dinner: Cottage Cheese and Cool Ranch Doritos

Dinner: Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich

Dinner: Anderson Cooper 360

Dinner: I hate myself

Dinner: No you don’t

Dinner: Yes, I do

Dinner: Why? You have so much to live for

Dinner: I guess. I don’t know. I just feel apathetic. Empty inside. Like, what’s it all mean? Why are we here? Is there anything other than just playing Skyrim for 6 hours a day and then going to work and then coming home and playing more Skyrim? Is that all life is about?

Dinner: What’s going on, dude.

Dinner: What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.

Dinner: Come on, man. There’s something going on with you.

Dinner: I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let’s just drop it.

Dinner: No, I will not drop it. You’re going to tell me what’s wrong.

Dinner: Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich.

Dinner: Hey! Don’t pull that shit with me. When you start saying you hate yourself and complaining - actually fucking complaining - about videogames, I know there’s something the matter.

Dinner: It’s nothing.

Dinner: Tell me.

Dinner: No.

Dinner: Dude.

Dinner: I don’t feel like it.

Dinner: Don’t you think this stupid “Dinner” bit has gone on long enough, then? Shouldn’t we just end it?

Dinner: Okay, fine. It’s my birthday this weekend.

Dinner: HA. I KNEW IT.

Dinner: Don’t look so smug, shithead.

Dinner: Relax, friend. It’s just a birthday. Are you telling me that you’re starting to be one of those people who hates their birthday? Those people are assholes. Seriously.

Dinner: No, I know. I’m not going to be one of those people. I just… I shouldn’t have brought it up.

Dinner: But you did bring it up, and now we’re talking about it. So spill it.

Dinner: Well, the world’s supposed to end in 2012, right?

Dinner: Oh, here we fucking go…

Dinner: DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS OR NOT?

Dinner: Jesus! All right! Chill the fuck out.

Dinner: So the world’s going to end at the end of 2012, right?

Dinner: Right. Yes.

Dinner: So this is probably my last birthday.

Dinner: Well, I wouldn’t -

Dinner: No, no - it is. I can feel it. This is it. The world is going to blow up.

Dinner: Wait, what?

Dinner: What.

Dinner: Say what you just said again.

Dinner: The world’s going to blow up?

Dinner: Yeah. You think the world’s going to, “blow up”?

Dinner: Yes I do. What’s wrong with that?

Dinner: How is our planet going to “blow up”? Is someone going to plant a bunch of huge bombs in the ground or something? You seriously believe that?

Dinner: Um, YEAH. I seriously believe that. Don’t be so naive.

Dinner: Naive? How am I -

Dinner: Haven’t you ever heard of platatatonics?

Dinner: You mean “Plate Tectonics”?

Dinner: Yeah.

Dinner: … Yes, I’ve heard of it.

Dinner: OKAY. Well, I read this article where it said the Mayans predicted all the continents are gonna like shift around and stuff because of a huge earthquake and the lava’s gonna spill out and shoot out into space bef-

Dinner: HA HA HA HA HA. OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO STUPID.

Dinner: Shut up! SHUT UP I’M SERIOUS SHUT UP.

Dinner: HA HA HA HA I HONESTLY CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOU THINK THAT LAVA IS GOING TO, AND I QUOTE, “SHOOT OUT INTO SPACE”. God, you are such an idiot.

Dinner: See? This is why I didn’t want to talk about my feelings, you fuck.

Dinner: HA HA HA. Ha ha. I’m sorry man. Ha ha. Ha. It’s just… Ha ha ha… I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m being a dick.

Dinner: Yeah, you are. And I wish you wouldn’t laugh about how I think the world is going to end.

Dinner: Ha ha ha. I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m SORRY. Just… Man. Lava. Space. Hooo boy. Ha ha.

Dinner: Just forget it.

Dinner: Look, anyway… I think this tumblr post has gone on long enough. It’s time to stop procrastinating and go to sleep.

Dinner: I agree.

Dinner: But your birthday really is this weekend?

Dinner: Yeah.

Dinner: What are you doing for it?

Dinner: Probably going to have a party at a bar on Saturday.

Dinner: Isn’t that when Moles is having his party?

Dinner: No, his party’s on Friday night.

Dinner: Ah.

Dinner: Right.

Dinner: So the party’s Saturday… But you haven’t invited anyone yet?

Dinner: No.

Dinner: Don’t you think you should… Like… Do that?

Dinner: Yeah. LOOK, SKYRIM IS A REALLY ADDICTIVE GAME, OKAY? LEAVE ME ALONE JESUS CHRIST YOU’RE SUCH A DICK.

Dinner: Okay, okay. I’m sorry. How are we going to end this?

Dinner: Just stop typing.

Dinner: Plate Tectonics.

Dinner: Hate you.

I THINK I NEED TO EAT MORE SALAD

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