Ha ha ha! Well, obviously, over the weekend I went and bought myself a sweet looking zoot suit for 99 bucks.  So stupid.  I love the fact that my friends are all married and have kids… And my contribution to the human race is walking around in a creamsicle colored suit drinking whiskey and belting out karaoke all night!  YOU’RE WELCOME, UNIVERSE.  Hey, somebody has to tip the cosmic balance back the other way before we all turn lame, am I right? One of these days I’ll grow up… But you shouldn’t hold your breath.  UNLESS YOU CAN HOLD IT FOREVER.

Luckily, I wasn’t alone on Saturday night… Good ol’ Tony Z had a suit of his own that he wore:

Your Hosts for this evening’s festivities: Big Red & Champagne

Tony went by the name Big Red, and I went by the name Champagne (the color of my hat & shirt) all night!  What a couple of handsome looking dudebros, am I right?  When I walked up to the restaurant that we ate at, people literally just started laughing out loud in the parking lot - not making any attempt to try and hide it or anything! It was amazing night… Especially because we were the only ones dressed up!  Everyone else we were with were in normal clothes; it was like a couple of villains from Dick Tracy were trying to make new friends!  Ha ha ha!

Anyway, that was Saturday… But Sunday was also super fun and ridiculous: There was an All-Conan Comedy show at IO West!  A bunch of us performed last night: Writers Brian Kiley, Josh Combers, Rob Kutner, and staffers Christian Lynch, Adam Yenser, Brent Morin, Amanda Shamis, Chris Ultimo, and Pierre Bernard!  In addition, Doug Karo (Clip Coordinator, and the host of last night’s show) showed a bunch of great clips that got cut from The Tonight Show, so that was fun as well!  I didn’t perform, but I made a video that went over pretty well:

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Hello, friends.  No, I haven’t forgotten about you.  I’ve been crazy busy all day, running around buying baby toys, dog food, and whiskey. PS - I don’t own a baby or a dog.

We’re shooting the first episode of the much touted-and-soon-to-be-incredibly-disappointing web show tomorrow, and I must say that it’s much harder achieving weird plans and pulling off dumb jokes when you don’t have access to your own Prop Department or Costume Designer!  It maybe more difficult… But it’s also more fun!  I enjoy the struggle - it makes the end result that much sweeter.  No pain, no extremely painful and very slight gain!  Sigh.

After the shoot tomorrow, I’m planning on partaking in a little thing that my friend Erni started with one of her friends.  It’s called “Meat Week”, and it’s an 8 night celebration of delicious meat!  It’s been going on for a few years, and since its inception, different chapters have sprung up all over the US!  If you love meat, and want to check it out, it’s still happening every night until Sunday… And Erni & co have set up a rad looking website where you can get all the details to when and where everyone is “Meating” each nite (sorry, I couldn’t resist)!  The website is MeatWeekIsReal.com… Consider your colon warned.

Finally, I watched LOST last night at my friend TG’s house, and it. was. AWESOME.

Oh LOST writers.  You never disappoint.  LET’S DISCUSS Y’ALL!  SPOILERS FOLLOW!!

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Hello my dear friends.  I am a douche.  A turd. A fraud. A fake. I lie about catching up on comments.  I miss my daily deadlines. Less than three weeks until I lose my tour bus virginity, and I can barely keep it together.

I’m sorry for not blogging yesterday; I have just been absolutely insanely swamped from the tour as it is… And yesterday was my sister’s birthday, so all the time not spent at meetings was spent trying to throw together a party, wrap presents, kill ghost ants, and then go out and show my younger sibling a good time!!  I got really drunk by the end of the night, and tried to write a blog late last night… But then had a moment of clarity and didn’t publish it. Just as well; I’m not sure how many of you wanted to read pages and pages of “jhasgfhbgsuwbgsubwtrunwg98w54h9g24whnbvuiwbvniwbniuwbtiuw bnbvjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj”

You know what I’m saying.  Sorry again.

Anyway, part of my whirlwind day yesterday was buying a card…  Which, as is turns out, happened to be one of the more emasculating things that’s happened to me in recent days.  Here’s the story:

I feel like it’s gonna be really hard for me to go back there EVER AGAIN.  Oh well.  One Rite Aid down, 6500 to go.

See y’all tomorrow!!

Thanks to Ellen for the picture. ;)

For those of you who caught our writers special tonight on TBS, you might have seen a little cameo by yours truly - I started off the show busting into Andy’s dressing room and catching him in an awkward situation. Man.  I am a really really bad actor.  Holy shit. OR AM I THE BEST ACTOR EVER?!??  MAYBE I AM SO GOOD THAT I’M ACTUALLY ACTING WORSE THAN I CAN REALLY ACT BECAUSE IF I DID ACT AS GOOD AS I - you know what?  I’m just going to stop this right now.  Anyway, bad acting or no, it was a blast to do!  Thanks to Ross for making me put on a headset and letting me do it!

How was everybody’s Sunday?  Mine was sweet!  Today I went to a birthday BBQ at a friend’s house - which then ended with a small group of us watching the classic movie “The Beastmaster”:

I had never actually seen it before, and it. was. AMAZING. I highly HIGHLY urge you all to check it out.  Man oh man.  What a giant wet ball of shit.  And for a guy called “The Beastmaster”, he doesn’t really have that great control over beasts.  I mean, all the bad guys ride horses in the movie… So all he would have to do to win pretty much any fight would be to have the evil horses run the other way!  That, and the amount of tanned muscular man thighs really make this movie a must see.  SO GREAT. 

After Beastmaster, and most everyone had left, an even smaller contingent of us stuck around and watched Youtube clips of people falling down and animals fucking each other.  I haven’t laughed that hard in a really long time.  This I think was the clip of the night:

SHE JUST LAYS DOWN AND TAKES IT AND NO ONE HELPS HER.  Seriously!  What the fuck!  We watched it like ten times in a row, and even now I STILL can’t watch it without laughing.  If anyone thinks that humor isn’t genetically ingrained in our DNA, they’re crazy.  As my friend Dan said “Cavemen were laughing at this exact shit tens of thousands of years ago.”  And future human/alien hybrid space people I’m sure will be laughing at the same thing tens of thousands of years from now.  ;)

WOW!  Thanks to all of our fans over on the I’m With Coco today, who dubbed today “Bley Appreciaton Day” on Facebook. You guys! That was super nice of you! I was very touched by the whole thing. Thank you. And to everyone else on Facebook who had to sit though a thousand photos of me today… I’m sorry.  And YOU’RE WELCOME, SUGARSNAP.  ;)

Speaking of Facebook, we started an official “Team Coco” Facebook page for our new TBS show, and it’d mean a lot to me if you could all pop over there and click the “Like” button! That page will be the site of many special and fun things in the weeks to come, and I would hate for anyone I know to miss out on all the goodies. Do it now, suckas!  You’ll be happy you did.  TRUST ME ON THIS.

In other news, I know that a lot of you have been digging Cee-Lo Green’s new summer smash hit, “Fuck You” - and that makes sense, because it is a goddamn AMAZING SONG. My favorite song by Cee-lo, however, is of a different flavor: It’s the song “Transformer” by Gnarls Barkley.  I absolutely did not care for the song that was on the Gnarls Barkley album - it sounds totally insane and way too intense for lil ol Bley’s eardrums - but they did a beautiful live acoustic version of Transformer on the show “Abbey Road Live”… It’s a slow burn, but totally worth it. So do yourself a favor and check it out:    

Hypnotic.

It’s the exact opposite of how the track sounds on the album, right?! Plus, this version really showcases what an amazing singer Cee-Lo is. Unbelievable. Cee-Lo is to singing what I am to eating Cheetios and striking out with women; aka, A NATURAL.

In case you’re interested, here are the other two songs that Gnarls Barkley did on the Abbey Road show:

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