I wish that there was a Taco Bell attached to my house so that all I ever had to do would be to walk over to the drive through window (in my dreams my window and the drive through window like face each other) and order some tacos and maybe a bean burrito and then the woman would say my order in her headset thing and then she’d ask me to pull around to the next window, but I would say “this Taco Bell is attached to my house” and then she would ignore me, and so I would say it louder “this TACO BELL is attached to MY HOUSE.” and then she would politely explain that she’s helping other customers and I would ask “What other customers? This TACO bell IS attached TO MY house”, and she would point and there would be like 13 other cars lined up in my living room waiting to order and I’d be all like “what the fuck?” and then walk outside to my backyard and pick up my order from the second window which would totally negate the whole purpose of having a Taco Bell in my house in the first place and this is the reason why my version of the movie Inception would’ve really sucked.

Last night I made a fool of myself.  A FOOL. I woke up this morning and my kitchen was covered in Del Taco wrappers. (For those who don’t know, Del Taco is like a really shitty Taco Bell.  Yes, you read that right: A REALLY SHITTY Taco Bell. I don’t want to go into what my stomach and bowels have produced today, but the word “Awful” sums it all up pretty nicely). I looked in my fridge, and saw that someone had let me bring home a “Fiesta Pack”, which is a fucking GIANT BOX OF CRAP aka five tacos and five burritos.  There was one burrito left. Once again, I find myself the guest of honor in my own personal SHAME PARADE!!! YAAAAAAYYY! 

Depression.

To make matters worse, while cleaning up the orgy of evidence at the gastrointestinal crime scene that was once my kitchen, I also found this picture from last night of a strange dude sitting on my lap:

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Note to self: Don’t pass out on the “J” key.  How embarrassing.

What I MEANT to say last night was that nostalgia is one of the most powerful feelings humans can have; no one is immune!  Celebs, powerful captains of business, mothers fathers, werewolves - EVERYONE likes to look back on how the world was when they were younger.

On that note, my friend Del (Also known as his zoot suited persona, “Baby Blue”) and his buddy created something amazing: THE YOUTUBE TIME MACHINE!!  The whole idea is that you can watch videos from pretty much any year you want - even way back when we were kids!  It’s right here: http://www.yttm.tv/  Be warned, though: You might spend the next six goddamn hours on that thing.  SO ADDICTIVE.

I love Youtube Time Machine for a lot of reasons - but the probably the best reason is that it’s one of those inventions that you thought already existed!  And that’s the mark of something awesome.  I mean, when sliced bread was invented, I’m sure everyone was like “Oh!  Slice the bread ahead of time.  Of course.”  That’s how I feel about the Youtube Time Machine. I hope Del makes a metric shit ton of money and buys me that golden helicopter I’ve always wanted. It might cost me a dry tugjob and my dignity, but it’d be worth it.  Especially if that helicopter was AIRWOLF.  (I came across that video through the YT Time Machine, by the way. SO AWESOME!)

From left: Dannyz, Del, Tonyz, Lyons.. and Your Oktoberfest Host, Aaron Bleyaert

I’m back from a week long trip to London, Paris, and Munich for Oktoberfest. What started as a humble trip to visit my childhood buddy Dannyz in London turned out to be one of the greatest trips I’ve ever taken and one of the best weeks of my life. Beer, Sausage, Steve Winwood, Broken Cameras, Lost iPhones, Octopus Balls, Big Ben Boners, Carnival Rides, Goat Hides, Fish & Chips, Train Trips, Lederhosen and more farts than you could possibly imagine… Tonight we break this jet lag. Tomorrow we take a trip. PACK YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNDS.